Funeral Resources

Coping with Grief
During the Holidays

The Holidays are time spent with loved ones. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and our loved ones. The Holidays bring much meaning to certain days and we give much meaning back to them. The Holidays are for being with those we love most, but if you have lost someone special, you may feel like your world has lost its celebratory qualities. For many people, this is the hardest part of grieving when we miss our loved ones even more than usual and the Holidays only magnify the loss. You can and you will get through the holidays.

Death Days, Anniversaries,
Birthdays, Christmas

After losing a loved one, celebrating these occasions tend to be the most challenging because we don’t know what to expect as they approach for the first time. The truth is grief is the only way out pain. And yes, the first year is almost always the hardest.

Instead of ignoring your feelings of grief, embrace them. Incorporate your loved one and your loss into the holidays. Externalize the loss by giving it a time and a place. Here are ways you can bring new meaning to these occasions after losing someone special.

Ways to Remember

Remember your loved one during the holiday dinner prayer
Light a candle in honour of your loved one
Send balloons their way
Share your favourite memories of your loved one
Have everyone tell a funny story about your loved one
Plant something in their honour
At your place of worship remember them in a prayer
Create an online tribute for them
Share your story online with others

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a day to honour a spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend or anyone we are romantically involved with, in the present. After losing someone special, the past can represent a hole in your heart where your loved one used to be.

Ways to Remember

Write your loved one a love letter
Talk to your loved one
Send a smile their way
Buy flowers
Do something you loved to do together on that day
Light a red candle in their honour
Talk to someone about them

Mother’s Day & Father’s Day

Mother’s and Father’s Day are often thought of as an invisible sad day of mourning. While many people are rushing around trying to get that perfect gift for mom or dad, there are many that mourn on these days, because they have either lost a parent or child.

Ways to Remember

Find ways to honour the life of your loved one
Plant something in their honour
Do something you loved to do together on that day
Light a candle
Talk to your loved one
Donate time or money in their name

Here’s What You Can Do

Have a backup plan for the holidays. When the time comes, if you don’t feel up to the occasion or it doesn’t feel right, then you can cancel the holiday altogether. Take a year off. They will come around again.

Grief has a unique way of giving us the permission to really evaluate what parts of the Holidays we enjoy and what parts we don’t. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to handle the Holidays in grief. You have to decide what is right for you and just do it. You have every right to change your mind, even a few times.

After losing a loved one, it is very natural to feel you may never enjoy the Holidays again. Try the Holidays in a new way and bring new meaning to them. They will certainly never be the same, as they were. However, in time, you may find meaning again in the traditions as a new form of the Holiday Spirit grows inside of you. Holidays can be some of the roughest times to navigate after a loss. The ways we handle them, are as individual as we are. Whatever you experience, just remember that sadness is allowed.

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